One thing I have learned from others who identify with autogynephilia is that there seem to be two types of heterosexual AGP types.
Type 1. The person never actually physically realises his fantasies in the real world, or even in private. Physical dressing does not take place. The fantasy and interest is kept under lock and key within their own head. I have always found it hard to understand how type 1 AGP's can control their fantasies so they are not driven to become a type 2 (below)
Type 2. The drive/desire is so strong that the brain commands the body to enact out the fantasy in the physical form. This may be in total private, in front of a trusted collection of friends or full on - going out and about dressed in public to the local supermarket etc.
At first when as a young child of about 3 or 4 I fitted into the type 1 category. The thoughts and feelings grew ten fold over the years to what they are now. Any attempt at hiding the feelings for a period of time results in them coming out far worse at a later date.
I consider myself to be attracted to females and am constantly admiring the look of femininity. So much so that I want to copy it myself.
Please remember these blogs are just my own views. I have spent years obsessing with trying to deal with the fantasies I have. I researched and read every article and have decided to just put down my own thoughts on the subject with how it controls my own existance. What I write here is a brain dump and it may sound crazy at times.
If you're a TS who finds my posts offensive, there is no need to spend time writing to me to tell me how wrong I am about everything and that I'm a crazy schizoid fetishist who should shut up. I'm totally fed with people telling me that it's never been a fetish of any kind for them. Well good for you if that's the case, so go and enjoy life. Funny enough many who have said this to me are usually dressed in some form of fetish wear when they tell me. I've noticed that anyone who stands up and says hey I feel gender confused and there is a sexual side to it gets blasted very nastily.